"A lot of people have had a lot of predictability and structure in their day before becoming a mom. If you are already a bit of a worrier, or perfectionist, or hard on yourself, people use structure, predictability and being successful as a way to manage that inner 'stuff'. Then baby comes along and BOOM!… out goes predictability, structure, there are no tangible successes."
A baby has six arousal states - being asleep, drowsy, hypo-aroused, calmly focused and alert, hyperaroused, then flooded. When a baby gets to the point of being hyperaroused or flooded, they are burning a lot of energy. The only way to help them out of this state is to help them down-regulate and this involves PARENTAL CONTACT/SUPPORT. It is not something that can be done by leaving a baby/child alone. They cannot up-regulate themselves or down-regulate themselves. If a parent does not help them down-regulate in their hyperaroused state, they will go up the arousal scale, become flooded, and at this point, the baby burns so much energy that they may fall asleep - NOT BECAUSE THEY SOOTHED THEMSELVES, but because they are passing out from sheer exhaustion. "It is the brain's last mechanism for protecting itself from severe energy depletion." Dr. Stuart Shanker, 2016